I don’t think of “my story” as being much of a story, but I suppose everyone has a story to tell whether big or small. If I can give someone who is reading this insight, courage, and/or strength, I suppose “my story” is an important one to share.
Background information: I am a 31 year old female, married August 2011. A few months prior to the wedding I was put on birth control, in which that particular visit/pap smear was normal. April of 2012, I was due for another exam. I thought of it as a normal procedure the only difference was that I had switched doctors. A few days later, I received a phone call from my doctor’s office stating that the doctor found HPV and that I needed to have a coloscopy to further detect any abnormal cells. So a week later from the initial exam I had a coloscopy, which for those who have not had one, is a bit painful similar to a bad menstrual cramp; however, manageable, with a not-so glamorous discharge to follow. I received a follow-up phone call stating that the doctor needed to speak with me about my results (nothing else was mentioned). My husband thought it was “good news” since the doctor himself didn’t call, little did either of us know. A few days later, I (by myself, because it’s “good news”, right?!) went to speak with my doctor about the results. It is there that I found out that I DID have abnormal cells, being diagnosed with Stage 0 Cervical Cancer. Stage 0 means that abnormal cells have been discovered and if untreated could become Stage 1 or higher, resulting in cancer of the cervix. Although Stage 0, the cells still needed to be removed to prevent further spreading and/or further growth, therefore, I received a conization, a surgical procedure where the doctor cuts out a “cone” shape (cells) from the cervix. Once completed, there will be a series of visits, once every 3 months for a year and then once every 6 months for a year. Currently, I have completed 1 visit, which came back negative!
I think for anyone who has gone through, is going through, or knows someone going through this understands how scary it can be, no matter the severity. And I am a person that believes until you have walked in someone’s exact shoes, which no one ever will, you have no idea of how they should react, the emotions they are going through, and the courage it takes to overcome an obstacle such as this.
There were several hardships that I faced: that it happened to ME, that it has happened to others (which made me feel as though I didn’t have the “right” to be emotional), and that a couple of months prior to my annual exam, in April, my husband and I had just begun trying to have our first child. Even as I write, this part brings heartache and tears. It was difficult to hear that I had to stop trying and go back on birth control. Being a late bride, I did and still wonder if I’ll be able to have a child(ren). It was also difficult to hear people tell me instantly “You can always adopt”, which is definitely not out of the question but at the time not an “option” I wanted to consider. Even though I’ve already had my first “negative” checkup, and believe that I am on the road to recovery, it is still difficult to hear about people having their first child or becoming pregnant, playing the “why me?” or “why them?” card.
I believe through it all anyone facing any stage of cervical cancer needs a support system. I personally, am a fairly private person (but once out, I’ll share…obviously!!!) and thankfully I have a supportive husband, family, and church family. I am a Christian and without my faith, this would have been impossible to overcome. I know God has a plan and if it is His will, I will overcome this hurdle, whether it is to be cancer free and have a family full of children or not. Whatever the outcome he will receive and deserve my praises!
This is my story…
I hope and pray that as you read, whether you are fighting the fight or someone dear to your heart is, know that “through God, all things are possible”. If you are going through this, know its ok to hurt and have heartache, but also know and believe you are strong; you have the courage to fight!
*Blessings*
Brooke Carr
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