“While you are here..” This 4 word phrase has been in my head for a while now and has been my primary thought for the last week. My doctor began a sentence with this phrase 3 months ago. It could have saved my life.
I went to my doctor’s office 3 months ago for an unrelated illness, and she mentioned, “While you are here, do you mind if we do a quick pap test?” I had been in the ER all night and was coming down from morphine, so she could have convinced me to do almost anything. I obviously didn’t balk.
One week later, I went back to the doctor for a follow-up for my unrelated illness. Within 5 minutes we were discussing HPV, biopsies, and cervical lesions. She may as well have been speaking a foreign language. Within an hour, I was calling work to let my boss know that I wouldn’t be coming to the office. I needed biopsies that day. Long story short… I had surgery, I didn’t get clean margins and pathology results came back CIN3/HSIL. I am guessing we will start all over in September and more surgery is in my future. But hey, this isn’t cancer folks! This is precancer! I have very abnormal but noncancerous cells. What would have happened if my doctor didn’t say “While you are here…?”
I have always been involved in local organizations, whether it was fostering homeless animals or providing legal assistance to the low income community. SO while I was in the healing process, I naturally began to look for local organizations that are focused on awareness of cervical cancer. Although my health has been up and down over the last 3 months, my husband and I became involved with the ONE and only organization in the area that focuses on awareness for gynecologic cancers: The Jaymie Jamison Foundation for Hope.
This past weekend, the Foundation held its largest annual event, Panties Across the Bridge. I volunteered to help with the foundation’s first annual 5K run, so I didn’t make it down to the Newport’s Purple People Bridge (where the panties were hung) until later in the day. I was busy during the race and didn’t think much about why I was even there…I just had a job to do.
When I went to the bridge, I was reminded why I was there. There were bands and booths and even free popsicles, but I just wanted to see the bridge. My eyes glazed over and my feet took me there (admittedly with a slight distraction by a free popsicle). And when I got to the bridge I just stopped and stared, first at Jaymie’s photo and then at this huge bridge that was covered with panties.
I started walking across the bridge and all I could see to my right was panties. Some had funny sayings, others had tips for cancer awareness. And I started to cry. I cried for Jaymie, a woman I never met, but who had to die for this event to be held. I cried for the women who wrote messages of hope on their panties. I cried for the women whose names were written on panties, but had lost their battles. I cried for women who have full-blown cancer and are dealing with chemo and radiation. I cried for the volunteers who made this event possible. I cried for the idiots who were making fun of the panties and the disease. I cried for my husband who has held my hand through all of this. And for once, I cried for me…. Out of shame for being a burden and source of concern for my family and out of selfishness for this disease hindering my life. But mostly I cried for thankfulness for my doctor who started the sentence with “While you are here…”
And while I am here, I will care for my body. While I am here, I will not discuss cervical cancer, HPV, or anything else that comes with it in a whispered voice. While I am here, I will serve as your reminder.
If you would like to share your story please send it to: shelton@jaymiejamisonfoundation.org
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